


In which Nathan saves the world. Kinda.

by Scila



Category: Misfits
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-01-31
Updated: 2011-01-31
Packaged: 2017-10-15 06:48:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/158151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scila/pseuds/Scila
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kinda of a sequel to "In which Kelly and Nathan talk about baby names". Nathan tries to make things work with Kelly, but saving the world gets in the way. Kinda. Or maybe not. COMPLETED</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part 1

**In which Nathan saves the world. Kinda.**

 **Part 1**

It started as a completely normal day. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, babies crying… the neighbor banging against the wall with a broom because of the moaning coming from the hooker next door. And someone throwing a bucket of dirty water from the third floor, making his hanged clothes by the window, already in a poor condition, smell even worse.

Yes, a pretty standard day in the shithole he lived now.

Really, Nathan couldn't be happier living in a shitty apartment in the bad side of the town, out of the community center with all its free food and shelter. Nothing was better than paying rent or getting threaten to pay for it with a bat.

As he dressed himself with his last pair of clean trousers, his cell phone vibrated, announcing a very important text. Sure, it didn't seem all that important at first.

Really, who cares about Barry wanting a meeting with the gang?

But as he finished pretending to comb his hair, Nathan realized it was the first time he could meet them after the whole Marnie fiasco. Actually, no, it was going to be the first time he saw _Kelly_ after talking to her about bigger tits. _Her_ bigger tits.

A whole week had gone by and things had just changed so quickly, that, well, he forgot. He never had much of an attention span. His mother nagging him to move out of what, she discovered, was a mattress in a government owned building and not a flat full of friends, turned his life in a totally nightmare. Why was her son living like a hobo all this time? Was he crazy? Was he out of his mind? Wasn't it enough that he had just died, but was he trying to give her a heart attack too?

Blah, blah, blah di blah, on and on it went. So, he left the safety of the community center and now lived in a place that smelled worse than a donkey's ass, but it was legal and shit and his mother felt loads better about it.

Anyway, what was he doing again?

Oh, yeah. The text.

Barry, always worried about something, told them to meet him back at the community center immediately. Nathan thought it probably was some kind of lecture about the future and their powers or some boring shit like that.

But it meant he was going to see Kelly.

And all of the others, 'course.

So he went.

He was the first one to arrive, because, yeah, he didn't have anything else to do. He sat on one of the broken chairs they found on the community center's roof, crossed his legs and waited.

He wondered what Kelly was up to since their last conversation. She made him feel pretty shitty about things with Marnie at first. But, then, well, she also gave him back something he honestly thought was gone forever: her friendship and, perhaps, access to her breasts again. He wondered what his chances were... maybe fifty-fifty?

Then Barry and Alisha appeared; the wonder couple. It was really a laugh seeing them together trying to save the world. He wondered how long it would take for them to start wearing matching super-hero costumes. The Invisible Cunt and Ms. Delicious Fanny.

"Hey, Nathan," Simon greeted him, holding Alisha's hand like they were in a Beatles's song. Freaking adorable in a freakish way. Nathan couldn't resist signing thumbs up to him; his little mellonfucker had grown so much.

"I gather the sex's good because you're all over each other. Did you follow my tip and left her all tingly in the right places?" he took his tongue out and mimicked a blow job.

Of course, the reaction was a gulp from Simon and a disgusting look from Alisha.

"God, shut up. Our sex life is none of your business."

"'Course is my business! Sex is always my business and, by the way, business is doing well. Besides, Barry, here, is like my... What's the word? Like..."

"Like I'm your Padawan and you're teaching me in the ways of the Force."

"Yes, that. Whatever that means. I'm his teacher in the arts of pleasuring the female body. I'm that. I need to know every single disgusting detail, so I can judge and pass my wisdom." He turned to Alisha. "You should thank me, I'm the reason he's any good."

"Oh please. That disgusting trick is ridiculous. Simon learned things from me, kay?" she said, hugging him closer, making Barry blush like a virgin maiden.

"Interesting. So what _did_ you teach him? Did you make some tapes with sexy lessons?"

"I don't think it's a good idea to show you..." Simon began to Nathan's amusement and Alisha's horror.

Nathan let out a huge laugh.

"So, there ARE tapes! You got to show me them, mate! It's your duty to your fellow men, so we can share this wonderful thing," he finished solemnly then turned to Alisha, moaning and pretending to be spanked. "I bet she's in school uniform, like a naughty teacher! Oh, oh, OH!"

"He isn't going to show you anything! And can you stop talking now? We have more important things to worry about!"

As if on cue Curtis and Kelly appeared, greeting them. It didn't escape Nathan's notice that they arrived together. Were they shagging? What the hell did she see in him? The man had no sense of humor. Boring as an old drunk grandparent in News Year Eve. Maybe that was the point? Boring? Is that what she wanted?

"What're you looking at?" Kelly said to him, an eyebrow raised.

"Nothing. Just checking out the merchandise, really." he deflected immediately, staring at her boobs with a quick smile.

"Fuck off."

Oh. So. She was back at being mad at him. He wondered what the hell he did this time to deserve that...

"Can we get on with then?" Curtis said to Simon. "Why did you call us?"

"Yes, that. I called you guys because we need your help," Simon gestured to Alisha, who nodded. "We need to stop a bank robbery."

"What? Are you serious?" Curtis said with half a smile.

"Yes, I'm serious," Simon replied with, of course, no hint of sarcasm. "Yesterday, Alisha and I saw a group of thieves being chased by a police car. They got away, but I followed them invisibly and they're planning another robbery."

"So? Tell the police, let them deal with it. Didn't we have this conversation before?" Curtis insisted, receiving an eager nod of agreement from Nathan.

"Yeah, besides I'm more up for stealing money then returning it."

"We can't tell the police. They have powers," Alisha explained exasperated. "We have to stop them ourselves or the cops will be blown to pieces."

"But isn't that why we pay taxes?" he argued, giving her a shrug.

"To let them die horribly and not care?" Curtis raised an eyebrow, shocked as always to what Nathan said. Predicable really.

"Yeah! Seems fair to me, no?"

"No." Curtis argued, annoyed. "And you don't even _pay_ taxes, you prick."

"Well, the point still stands."

"What powers have they got?" Kelly finally said something, interrupting their argument.

Alisha and Simon exchanged looks before he decided to answer.

"One of them has the ability to form a protective barrier around him. Like a deflector shield."

"So bullets can't hurt them," Kelly nodded.

"Pfft, mine's better," Nathan said.

"What about the others?"

"We don't know, maybe they don't have any."

"What a shitty spy you turned out to be, Barry. I'm disappointed," Nathan said while starting to chew a gum he found in his pocket. It may have been weeks old, but hey, waste not and shit.

"Look, we have to do this," Alisha insisted.

Nathan couldn't help noticing that she was really into the idea. Probably excited to wear tight leather and underwear above it. Which could explain a lot actually, in terms of her dating Simon... It was possible she liked nasty stuff in bed too, like him.

Thinking about it made him momentarily distracted by the vivid images his imagination conjured. He noticed Kelly glaring at him and was really glad that she couldn't read his thoughts anymore. Sadly, his expression was still probably very easy to interpret.

"You want us to play heroes, is that it?" Curtis said, obviously not up for it. "I can't believe this."

"Why not? Someone's got to so somethin'! Last time we sold our powers, and look what happened!" Alisha interjected, annoyed. "Do you want someone else dying again?"

Nathan expected Curtis to be angry after Alisha mentioned Nikki's death, because really, it had been a low blow from her and even he could see that. But Curtis said nothing and Kelly just touched his arm a little. Making Nathan somewhat annoyed.

"So, what's yer plan, Simon?" Kelly said.

"I figure we disable the shield guy somehow then Curtis takes their guns. You can knock them out and we call the police to arrest them."

"I'm pretty sure I'm not needed then," Nathan interrupted, smiling with relief. "Unless you want someone making sarcastic taunts safely behind a wall. I'm pretty good at that."

"Yeah, we got it covered, Nathan. We don't need ya," Kelly agreed with him, which hurt his pride quite a bit. "Besides, your new power is probably useless."

"No, it's not!"

Suddenly defending his power was a question of honor of sorts.

"What is it, anyway? You were the last one out from the room," Alisha asked.

He forgot he hadn't told them yet. He'd gotten distracted by Marnie and the baby. But mostly though, he forgot.

"So, what is it?" Curtis asked, a smile on his smug face. Of course he was eager to hear and judge Nathan's inability to do anything right.

"Oh, nothing much... I just can turn invisible!"

"No, you can't. That's my power," Simon said, confused.

"Fine... I... Run real fast!"

"That's mine, idiot."

" _Nathan_... What's your power?" Kelly repeated the question, her tone indicating she was expecting him to have done something really stupid.

That annoyed him. He sighed dramatically and began explaining like it was a very serious tale.

"I choose mine because of Marnie, you know? She had... special needs."

"Oh my god... It's somethin' nasty, isn't? Do I even want to know?" Alisha asked, making a disgusted face.

"Come on, tell us already," Kelly said rolling her eyes.

After a long dramatic pause and a deep breath, he told them solemnly.

"I can turn into a dog. Yeah, that's right. Marnie thought it was cute, kay? Besides, it's easier to lick my balls that way. The only drawback is that I just can't get the fleas out of..." he started feeling his ass. "...My anus. They're, like, nested in there, probably breeding, the little buggers."

They all stared at him, in complete silence. He let out a laugh.

"Oh, come on! I'm pulling your leg, 'fellas. I bought back my immortality. Honestly, by the rate I died in the last few months seemed like I needed it. Half the price, too. Bargain, really. Considering that it's a life long investment, since, well, I get to live forever. Again."

They all rolled their eyes at the same time, Alisha even let out a groan of frustration.

"We can use you as bait, then," Simon suggested, the only one not affected with annoyance by the news. "You distract them while we take out the man with the power."

"Oh, that's great. Really, I feel special. Do I have a target on my back or somethin'?"

"Oh, shut up. You love the attention," Kelly said, a really small smile in her lips.

"I kind of do. But that isn't the point, is it? You guys don't take me seriously anymore now! It hurts my man feelings."

"We _never_ take you seriously," Curtis announced and Nathan pretended he was hurt by it.

Finally, after discussing the plan a little more (mostly, Nathan just provided sarcastic commentary), they (read: Simon) decided to meet inside the bank a few hours before the attempted robbery, which was going to happen the day after. They all left after that but Nathan tried to follow Kelly out. He was happy to see she didn't leave with Curtis, which was good news at least.

"Hey, Kells, wait up, will ya?" he said, trying to keep pace beside her.

Surprisingly she slowed down, waiting for him to say something.

"You're really up for this? Be a super hero and shit?"

"I just can't pretend it isn't going to happen, can I? Got do somethin' about it now."

They continued walking, letting her words sink in. Really, if someone had what it took to be a hero, Kelly was the one. Oh, sure, Barry had the brains and the Peter Parker's looser vibe, all the eagerness and useless knowledge from reading too much comics, but at the end of the day, Kelly could be the one to kick some serious ass. He could dig having her protecting him... _the city_ , protecting the city and whatever.

'Course, he wasn't going admit that to her. Because heroes usually have really shitty lives, especially in a place like where they were.

Anyway, not long after, they reached an intersection. He had to go left to his new and _really_ posh apartment, while she needed to turn right to go home. So they stopped, looking at each other, without knowing exactly what to do or say. He suddenly felt really nervous.

 _Get a grip, you ass. Talk to her_.

"So, after the whole... saving the world gig... I was thinking..."

"Look, Nathan, I got to go, yeah?"

"What? Why?"

"Got to do some stuff," she said before going right, almost running out of his reach.

"Oh right. _Stuff_. Sounds really important," he said lamely, more to himself, as she was already gone.

Well, that went fabulously.

 _Continued in part 2..._


	2. Part 2

**In which Nathan saves the world. Kinda.**

 **Part 2**

The next day they got back together at the community center with Simon repeating their plan so everyone remembered what to do (honestly, did he thought they were some idiots, shitheads or somethin'?). It seemed like a simple enough plan: go to the bank, pretend to an upstanding citizen (well, maybe it wasn't _that_ simple), just going to the bank like a normal day, wait for the uncivilized rascals and then save the world (or, in Nathan's case, die and then wait for them to do the rest).

He pretended not to be bothered by Kelly's quick escape the other day. Besides, as it turned it out, she really had stuff to do. Who knew?

"I remembered what Curtis told us about being famous and everything going to shit, yeah? Well, the bank has cameras and all..." she explained to them, after arriving with a trash bag in her hands. "So I stole these back. And made these."

She took their old community work uniforms out of the bag, all cleaned out. She also gave each one of them orange bandanas, with two holes in them, to work out as masks, covering half their faces and hair.

"You… actually made _these_? Like, with your hands?" was Nathan's reaction, as he put on his own.

"No. I thought about it and they _magically_ appeared out of my fucking closet," she replied sarcastic. "Why? Are they really that shitty?"

"Less ridiculous than our last costumes, that's for sure," Curtis replied, testing out his own.

"I think it's a great idea. Thanks Kelly," Simon said, trying his on too. "We can change in the bank's bathroom when the time is right."

Alisha was looking at hers with a displeased look, like she was handling piss-covered clothing.

"Well, it's better than nothin'. But orange? God… tacky. And I was so glad to be out of this shitty uniform too."

"I can make them black… I guess?"

"Jesus, no. Do you want us to called The Emo Cunts?" Nathan proclaimed, horrified by the possibility.

"As opposed to the Orange Cunts?"

Nathan looked at Curtis, embarrassed for the guy.

"Say... How about you leave the naming to me, huh? Because, frankly, you suck at it."

Curtis just rolled his eyes. They spent a few moments just looking at their new costumes and then, it hit Nathan: sure being a hero could potentially suck, but it also could mean some serious cash... and fans; fan _girls_ to be exact. Maybe it was worth getting excited for after all.

"So, are we ready to do this? To kick some serious ass and save the fucking world?" Nathan declared, clapping his hands enthusiastically and posing like a superhero, waiting dramatically for a response, but instead getting bored looks from the rest of them. "Come on people! This is like... our ticket to Hollywood movie contracts! Riches and fannies everywhere!"

"I don't think it actually counts as saving the world, it's just a bank and..."

"Shut up, Barry. Don't ruin the epicness of this!"

"I thought you didn't even want to help the cops and all?" Kelly questioned, arms crossed.

"It's not about them, is it? It's about me. Me being considered a hero and thus bathed in gold for my heroic and glorious deeds. Having so much gold that it's in a fucking pool of money that I could dive into, like... that duck with no pants."

"Donald Duck?" Kelly offered.

"Sure, that guy."

"I think that's actually Scrooge McDuck, he's Donald's uncle and..."

"Let's just go, yeah?" Kelly said, throwing her uniform on her back and leaving.

So off they went.

Young people, especially young people looking like unemployed lazy bums, walking inside a bank was something worthy of a few worried glances from costumers and constant eyes on them from the security guards. Really lame of them, Nathan thought, as they were there to save the ungrateful bastards.

Curtis, who was the only one with actually a bank account, went to the cashier trying to appear normal, while the rest of them waited near the bathrooms.

"Bathrooms are only for bank clients," a man in a suit told them, not bothering to hide his disgust and suspicion.

"Oh? I guess I have to piss right here then. I gotta warn you though, man, my aim can be a little messy. I would fuck off if I were you," Nathan said in return, putting a hand on his zipper, and making the man run away very quickly, while the others laughed.

It was then that a black van drove right inside the bank, breaking the glass doors and smashing everything in its way. Chaos soon ensued, with people panicking and looking for protection. The security guards started shooting right away, but the bullets did nothing to the car, as it was protected by an invisible barrier.

Simon nodded to them and they went inside the men's bathroom as the girls went to the other one. Nathan was kind of amused they were _actually_ going to do the gig. It felt funny playing heroes. Well, the movie deal could probably be more valuable if they did some saving the world stuff...

"Nathan you need to distract them while I turn invisible and knock down the guy."

"Fine, fine, leave it to me."

They walked out of the bathroom and Nathan imagined a nice soundtrack, the beat following their movements, making they look beyond cool. Outside, the robbers were already grabbing money bags, tossing them inside the van. The guards were dead already and the rest of the people were shitting their pants, waiting for the police.

Nathan felt powerful knowing he could just waltz in front of the criminals with a smirk and no fear. Sure, he was going to die a horrible death soon but hey, no pain, no gain.

So, he walked towards the five men, like it was just a stroll through the park. They were wearing clown masks and black suits, probably imitating the Batman movie, which was extremely lame. Where was the imagination? Lazy asses.

The guy with the power was easy to spot; he was the only one who was the size of a teenager girl. Of course his power was going to be a protective bubble; he was probably a wimpy scary idiot.

"Hey, you! Midget!" Nathan yelled, hands in his hips. "Aren't you a little short for a thief? Isn't your mum worried you're going to be late for dinner?"

"You talkin' to me?" came a surprising deep voice response.

"No, I'm talking to the _other_ twat dressed as an emo clown."

"I wouldn't annoy him, man. He'll shoot ya," another robber said, stopping what he was doing to watch it.

"Are you guys some kind of pedophile gang? Look at him; he can't be more than twelve, for shame. I thought bank robbers had some kind of dignity."

"Says the prick wearing a mask. Do you fancy yourself a superhero, you dumbass?"

"A superhero? Please, look at you pathetic idiots. It doesn't take a superhero to take you lot out, really. A sidekick would be enough, I think."

While he was making his speech, the five men were closing in on him, guns in their hands. The little guy was the closest. Apparently he was the brains of the operation because with a nod he commanded the others to grab Nathan from behind. Nathan didn't even struggle; he kind of expected that, of course, so he just waited with a smile, while Shorty came close to his face, with the gun pointed at it.

"Let's see how much can you talk with a bullet in your mouth."

Bang.

Hey, at least it was better than dying impaled by a fence or a pipe. Quicker and cleaner. Well, maybe not. He'd imagine the guy behind him would have to make several trips to the cleaners to wash all the blood and brains.

So he died again. Dead before he hit the ground.

When he woke up, gasping for breath, everything was silent. The bank was empty, the black van gone, and the police nowhere to be found.

If they left him to rot on purpose, Nathan was going to be pissed.

Carefully he got up, feeling his head, worried for a second that the damage would be permanent, but it wasn't, there was no sign that he had been hit by a bullet just... hours, maybe even minutes ago? How long had passed?

He noticed that the bank was a mess, more than it already was before he had been shot in the face. Bullet holes everywhere, furniture destroyed, walls cracked (that would've been Kelly for sure). Someone had moved Nathan's body too, because he was safely behind a wall, away from the fight most probably.

If they didn't end things quickly, it meant someone else from the gang had powers.

He walked outside the bank when he heard a loud bang and screams. He followed the sounds towards an alley near. The scene he found wasn't all that inspiring. With their backs to him were the two of the thieves, one of them shooting balls of fire out of his hands, while the other screamed at them really - really - loud making impossible to move.

Behind dumpsters were Alisha, Barry and Kelly looking very much beaten and Curtis was actually unconscious. Wow, they really sucked at being heroes, then? Lucky for them they had Nathan.

Not the target of either powers, Nathan just grabbed a pipe on the floor, and with Kelly as inspiration, he hit the first one right in the head, and did the same with the other before the guy could get a chance to scream at him.

While they fell on the floor, completely out of it, Nathan started to laugh and threw his hands up, in a victorious gesture.

"And this, ladies and gents, it's how is done! I'm fucking awesome! YEAH!" he proclaimed, kicking one of them in the gut for good measure.

Slowly, the rest of the gang moved from their hiding place. Alisha was supporting Simon, who had a bad looking injury in his left leg, while Kelly lifted Curtis on her back, sporting a black eye and... was that blood on her right shoulder?

"Jesus, you guys suck at being heroes, just sayin'. How the fuck did all that happen?"

He was mostly curious on how Kelly got banged up. Or worried, yeah, mostly worried

"While you were sleeping your ass off, they whooped our asses, that's what happened," was Kelly's answer, wincing as she adjusted Curtis position to lessen the impact on her injured shoulder.

"They had other powers. And training... and better strategies," came Barry's explanation. "Curtis was knocked down by the sound beam. Kelly was shot and the fire guy pinned Alisha down. I tried to knock them down but..."

"Wait, wait, back up. You were _freaking_ shot?" Nathan asked her, worried. He looked at her shoulder with a frown. "Are you crazy? Do you wanna die? You can't get shot!"

"Ah, duh. Not like I had any choice, did I?"

"Does it hurt? Why are you still bleeding?" he did noticed that his voice started to get high pitched. Yeah, he was getting kind of hysterical. "Put him down! Do you want to bleed to death too?"

Alisha was staring at him strangely, which was a bad sign. But he ignored and tried to take Curtis down, making Kelly extremely annoyed.

"Nathan, get _off_!"

"Look, he's fine!" he said while slapping Curtis' face so he would wake up. "Drop him!"

"Ahm, did you hit your head or somethin'?" Alisha asked.

"He _was_ shot in the head," Barry added, also thinking Nathan was more crazy than usual.

"Fine, keep the guy on your back! And then die in the middle of the street for all I care!"

"I'm fine, Nathan," Kelly insisted, this time a bit softly. "The bullet went through. Hurts like hell, but I'm gonna live."

He finally noticed that he was letting them see his worry a little bit too much.

"Oh. Okay then."

They all stared at him for a bit.

"What? If she says she's fine, then she's fine. Let's just move on, shall we?"

Rolling of eyes done, they started to leave, right on time too, because by the sound of the sirens closing in, the police were arriving very soon. Of course, that still didn't stop Nathan from missing the chance to grab a huge bag of money from the thieves' van parked near them.

"You can't do that... We aren't supposed to do that..."

"I think we do. I just saved the fucking world; I deserve some reward, Barry!"

"Technically it was just a bank and..."

"Don't worry; I'll use it only for good."

"Oh, just shut up, will ya?" Alisha groaned, more bitchy than usual.

So that was the end of it, of their try at being superheroes. Turns out not a very good idea. He's okay with, sure, after all he couldn't die, so it didn't bother him to risk his life - there wasn't any risk in it. But the rest of them? Not cut for the job, he concluded.

Especially Kelly. She really shouldn't try it anymore, definitely. Bad idea all around.

Curtis was still out of it by the time they arrived back at the community center, so Kelly decided she should take him to her house. But, of course, that idea didn't really please him - at all. So he begrudgingly offered his apartment. As she was the only one really able to carry the guy, and okay, Nathan admitted that didn't fancy carrying a grown man back to his apartment, she went with them.

Along the way, Nathan couldn't help but throw sideways glances at her, looking for any sign that she was in pain. He grew worried when he noticed her winces were more constant as they approached his house.

Finally she threw Curtis in Nathan's broken couch and sat in the nearest chair, her expression of complete relief with a mixture of fatigue.

"Are you hungry?" he offered, standing next to his really small fridge (he stole from an hotel room, so it was more like a mini-bar). "I can make nuggets."

She looked at him, strangely.

"Nah. No need, thanks. Not hungry."

"I think I read somewhere that you have to eat after you are shot."

"That's seems like bullshit, if you ask me."

"Can I take a look?"

Oh, he bet she was really suspicious of his request by the way she looked at him. He was surprised at himself that he asked. Not something someone expects to say out loud with a straight face.

The most surprising of it all, was that she let her orange uniform down on her right shoulder exposing the wound. It was... disgusting, really. Blood everywhere and a black hole that really shouldn't be black at all.

"Shit, that looks bad."

Not the right thing to say, apparently, because she quickly hid it again. But what else could he say? _Oh, what nice little bullet hole you have, Kells, really fits your orange jumper with all that blood red._

Curtis started to stir in his coma - or whatever. Not enough to wake up, but to shake the two of them from their uneasy silence.

"I should get going, yeah? Long day."

"You... could stay here, you know."

She snorted.

"What? You can."

"Where exactly, genius?" she said, pointing out Curtis on the couch.

 _My bed_. He wished he had the guts to tell her out loud. He wished she could hear at least that single thought. But no luck, so just struggled and smiled, like an idiot.

"What? Don't like my establishment? Too fancy for your taste?"

"Thanks, Nathan, but no thanks, yeah?"

And so she left and he felt like an idiot once more. A habit of sorts with the two of them.

Curtis woke in the middle of the night, complaining of a cockroach climbing up his leg. What a pussy. But they did use their time together to wallow in booze, so that was a plus.

"I can't believe I'm stuck with you. Can't believe those pricks thought it's a good idea for me to stay with you. I could've been dying for all they knew. I'm going to kill them."

"Woah, woah, man. Take it easy, yeah? I'm right here for fuck's sake."

"Pft, like you care, you prick. You don't care 'bout anythin'."

That made Nathan drink a whole beer can before answering.

"Do you think I like this little arrangement? It was supposed to be Kelly on this couch, all right? You ruined my plans of _wooing_ her. So, I think, that makes us fucking even."

" _Wooing_ her?" Curtis snorted, finishing his third beer. "That's unlikely."

"She's shot, man. I'm worried."

That earned a raised eyebrow.

"What? I am."

As an answer, Curtis just passed him another beer. He drank it all, regretting not following her home or something chivalrous like that. He probably looked intense enough because he received a serious answer from Curtis.

"Her mum is a nurse; she's going to fine, yeah?"

"How do you know that?"

"She told me."

"Well fuck."

He didn't get Nathan's outrage. But the root of it was simply that Curtis knew something about Kelly that he did not. It kind of hurt.

Nothing else was said, nothing important, really. They got wasted, Nathan complained about his life, Curtis complained about his. He vaguely remembered crying like a mama's boy, by the time the tequila bottle was empty (he didn't remember why and hoped that Curtis didn't either). Something about a competition of swearing words, a poem and lots of singing.

And then black.

He woke up without any pants. Nothing unusual about that. What _was_ unusual was Curtis presence and the fact that a something was vibrating bellow Nathan's butt. What the hell?

 _Oh_. He was on the couch and usually tossed his cell on the couch. _Okay_.

He grabbed the damned thing and clicked open. It was a text from Alisha - it turned it out it was Curtis' cell not his, as Alisha hardly ever talked to him directly if she could avoid it.

It read: _U okay? Kelly's not. Going to visit her naw. Answer ur phone prick._

Nathan just registered _Kelly's not_.

Kelly's not okay.

He was out of the apartment so fast he was amazed that he remembered to put pants on. On his way to her house, he called Simon, asking if she was at a hospital or worse. She wasn't, she was in bed safely at home. And he realized he could breathe again.

"Her mum is a nurse, she took care of it. So Kelly's okay, just kinda of grounded."

"Grounded?" that made him laugh a little. Seemed unlikely that anyone would make Kelly do anything she didn't want to.

He found the door of her house open, like it always was. No sign of her mysterious mother, so he went directly to her room, finding her asleep with a sling on her right arm. She seemed peaceful enough, so he let out a sigh and went to sit on a near chair, next to her dresser.

He felt like an idiot. Because he was back, feeling things he really shouldn't be feeling. Oh sure, he wanted another shot with her, and for a moment there, he almost thought he was going to have one. But that... that was different. Casual really, compared to what he was now experiencing.

Curtis told them that Kelly had died in some stupid alternate future and Nathan himself had turned into some kind of milk vegetable. He wondered what his other self felt when he learned that she had died. Because, Jesus, it felt bad.

It felt too intense. Nathan didn't do intense. Thinking too much about anything only ended with him miserable. It turned it out like that with his mom, with Ruth, his father and Jamie. He didn't like intense at all.

Especially when the source of it preferred being mates with him.

Still, he waited for her to wake up. Seemed only fair as she waited on him when he died. After a couple of hours of fidgeting on his chair, she finally opened her eyes. It took a few brief moments before she realized he was inside her bedroom, and when it finally hit her, she groaned out loud.

"What the _fuck_ are ya doin' in my room, you prick?"

For good measure, she threw a pillow at him.

"Not a morning person, I see! Jesus, Kells, tone down the crankiness!"

"Get the fuck out!"

"That's how you treat your best mate ever? I'm here for hours, waiting to see if you're fine, and this? A little humanity, if you please!"

"Fine! I'm fine! Go away."

He finally noticed why she was so annoyed at his presence. She was only in bra and, probably, panties.

"Are you embarrassed? Is that it?" he laughed. "Come on, nothing I didn't grope before. And my finger didn't explore!"

"God, Nathan!"

He smiled, at least, she seemed less angry after that.

"What are you really doing here?" she asked, avoiding his eyes.

"Enjoying this chair. Really, it's magnificent. I'm thinking of stealing it."

She rolled her eyes, but he continued.

"No, really. It's like sitting on a baby's face. So soft... My butt is being massaged by thousand of cherubs from freaking Heaven."

"The chair is shit. Answer the question."

"I already told you. I was worried, kay?"

Nathan came to the conclusion that Kelly simply didn't know what to make of that fact, so she just looked anywhere but at him.

"So your mum fixed you up, then?"

"Yeah..."

"On a scale of ten to twelve, how much pissed was she that you were, you know, fucking shot."

"Twenty. But she'll get over it."

Silence. God, it was hard talking to her, like there was something in the air hanging around them, making him unable to fill the silence with his usual sarcastic commentary. It had briefly disappeared on the day she talked to him about Marnie, but today? It's back at full force.

"You know..."

"Thing is..."

They both stopped talking at the same time too.

"Ladies' first. And never tell me I'm not a gentleman."

She rolled her eyes, but smiled too.

"Thing is I kinda need you to leave, all righ'?"

"What? Why? How ungrateful."

"Sorry, yeah? But my mum's comin' back and she kinda hates you."

"She _hates_ me? But doesn't even _know_ me."

"Yeah... She's... Look I'm glad you came. Really. Thanks and all that, but she's very good with her bat..."

"But... Why does she hate me? I mean, lots of people hate me, but, you know, at least they have the courtesy of knowing me first."

Kelly avoided his eyes again, making him even more curious. Did she talk about him to her mum? That was a daunting prospect, seeing he had to be experienced to be truly enjoyed.

"Okay, whatever you told her, she just needs a chance to get to know me, right? Some good old mother and son-in-law quality time and she'll love me for sure!"

"Son-in-law?"

He smirked at her, receiving an eyebrow raised in return. But they didn't have any more time to talk as Kelly's mother voice filled their ears. She was back. And if Kelly had learned anything from her mother, than it meant the woman was scarier than her. Which also meant that Nathan needed to hide.

"Go hide in my bathroom, you dick! Do you wanna be smashed by a cricket bat? Hide!"

"Okay, okay! Stop being so pushy!"

He closed the door behind him, gluing his ear on it as soon as he heard her mother coming in.

"Did you scratch the bandages, Kelly?"

"No, mum."

"Did you move your arm?"

"No."

"Let's see if you got a fever, okay? Does it hurt if I do this, dear?"

Oh. So she was just a sweet nice lady, her voice soothing and caring. Why was Kelly so scared for him, then? What a disappointment. Wait, actually, good news!

"Okay, you'll look better. Very good. Now just a few days in bed and everything will be better."

"Thanks mum."

"Was someone here?"

No matter how nice she appeared to be, Nathan still gulped.

"Alisha came to see me."

"How nice of her. It would've been even nicer if she didn't put your life at risk, dragging you along with whatever you were doing with them."

"I was just helping them out."

"Those people. Always putting you in trouble. Making you unhappy! Like that Nathan."

"Mum..."

"Oh I won't hear you defending him. Not after that awful business. You were crying for days. Pretending to be dead! What horrible person!"

"Mum, can you leave? I want to sleep."

"All right. My shift starts soon, but I will drop by in the afternoon to see how you're doing, okay? Call me if you need anything."

"Thanks, mum."

He stayed very, _very_ still for the whole conversation, unsure of how to grasp the news that Kelly had cried for _days_. _Days_. Okay, he stayed dead for like _two_ days, but really! She cried for him, enough for her mum to _know_ and _hate_ him for it.

So... What...

Mates. Just mates. Mates cried over friends dying. Completely normal.

Okay.

He opened the door to find Kelly very much red and uncomfortable.

He had three choices: pretend he heard nothing, make a smart ass comment about it or be sincere and confess that he... What? That he was happy that she cried when he died? Even in his head it sounded douchey.

"I'm going to make you some popcorn," he suddenly said, after spending a whole minute just standing at the door, looking at her.

And so he left. While he waited at the kitchen's microwave, he wondered if it was best not to return at all and forget the whole thing. But his feet didn't obey him and five minutes later he was back at her room, passing her a bowl of popcorn and sitting on the corner of the bed.

"Did I tell you that I'm filthy rich now? That bag had fifteen thousand grand. It's time to some serious Pizza Hut action, baby. You just tell me when and where, and I will buy you one big, disgusting, greasy pizza. Maybe two, if you work for it."

"Nice one. Not that I think it's a good idea to steal, if Simon asks."

He smiled content in seeing her in a better mood. For a few moments, he just watched her eat while watching TV for a while. Got boring fast.

"Your mum seems nice."

Kelly didn't say anything in return, so he kept going before he could regret it.

"So... You cried... You know, when I died the first time."

She started to say something, with a big angry frown, so he figured she thought he was going to make fun of her, but that wasn't his intention, so he didn't let her speak.

"Hey, it's okay! I think that's cute! I'm used to girls crying over me, I'm quite the catch."

"It wasn't like that!" she mumbled angrily, clearly embarrassed.

"I get it, you know. I would've cried too. Tears would be flowing endlessly from my perfect cheeks, if you were the one who died."

"You pulling my leg, aren't ya?"

"No! I'm deadly serious. You are not allowed to die _ever_. If you do, then I'm going to be a completely mess, more than the usual. Nobody will stand me anymore, I will never ever shower again, and I will live life stealing booze from truck drivers, and be just generally a horrible, homeless prick, crying all day."

He was happy to see Kelly opening a small smile at him. She probably thought he was exaggerating and maybe he was. But right at that moment, he could see all that happening for real.

"I'm such a idiot," she said after a brief pause, surprising him.

"What? Why? Usually I'm the idiot, what's different?"

She just shook her head and sighed. He moved closer to her, pulling his feet up on her bed, crossing his arms and sitting shoulder to shoulder with her.

"Well, sorry, now you have to tell me. It's just not fair leaving a man hanging like that."

"It's just the things you say sometimes... It's... I don't know, they're hard to hear, I guess."

He closed and opened his eyes quickly, feeling like shit. He was so good at ruining things, wasn't he? Always doing or saying the wrong thing with Kelly. Why was it so much easier with other girls? Look at Marnie! Took like six seconds to make her shag him senseless!

"Yeah, sorry about that. I just... can't keep my mouth shut, apparently."

"No, it's not that. I mean, _yeah_ , you can't. But it's my fault. You're just being _you_ , and I keep thinking about it and making it sound different, yeah? I'm so messed up."

"You're making _me_ very confused right now."

"I know you wanted to shag and I want to..."

"Do you _want_ to shag?" he interrupted, his voice betraying his excitement. "Because I'm... I'm very up to it. Quite literally, I think."

She made a face at him.

"What? I'm just _saying_ that I'm up for it. Just putting the idea out there for you."

"What idea, exactly? Say we shag, what then?"

"Well... I didn't think that far ahead."

Yeah, he knew it wasn't the right thing to say. Sadly, he didn't know what _was_ the right thing to say, anyway. Clearly Kelly was unimpressed.

"Yeah, why am I not surprised?" she said, almost sounding disappointed too.

"So... That's it? I just need a plan and you'll drop the whole we're mates bullshit?"

Oh, that got her. She stayed silent, mulling over.

"No."

"No? What then? Come _on,_ Kelly, give something."

"Why?"

"Why? Shit, why! Why do you think? Is this a mystery or something? I _fancy_ you. I don't wanna be just mates anymore and shit! It's boring, it's rude, and it's making my balls purple! That's not healthy!"

She didn't say anything, making him even more frustrated. So he pushed the almost empty bowl out of her hands and climbed over her, closing his face near her own, two hands supporting him on each side, with her body in the middle. She was blushing in her angry way, he could feel her body tense bellow him. Good.

"Why is it so hard to trust me on this? I _fancy_ you. Like... A lot! If you don't think about me like that at all, fine! Then fine! I'm going to die a lonely cranky old man, but _you_ have to say that to my face, right now and explain _why_! Can you do that?"

" _Fine_ , you dick. Here's why: you make me feel like shit."

Not the answer he was expecting. He almost backed away from her, hurt, but somewhere deep down he was sure that he had to listen to the whole thing and resolve this thing between them for good.

"Because I'm fucking afraid all the time! Afraid of the fucking day that you'll just... leave or somethin'. I can't... I can't deal with that. When you died... I was a fucking mess. Can't let that happen again."

"But good news! I'm immortal! I'm not going anywhere," he tried, his voice soft, he almost touched her cheek, but seemed too much too soon. She wasn't ready and would probably punch him in the face.

"You know what I mean, Nathan. You'll get bored with me, things will go to shit, and I'm the one who's gonna be fucked up, not you."

"That's not fair. You don't know that."

"What else is going to happen?"

She sighed and then pushed him away very forcefully, it was only thanks to her power that she could because of her sore arm, but either away, he was off the bed, feeling pretty fucked up himself.

Sure, the reasonable thing to do was leave and spare himself more humiliation, but Nathan was everything but reasonable.

"You know somethin', Kells? I won't get bored. Let's be honest, we got fucking super powers. That's not going to happen. And I _like_ you, we're mates and… we can talk. Like, for real, talking! We have so much fun together, more than with anyone I've ever met before. Everyone else, shagging came first, and with luck, I could stand the girl later. But with you?" he let out a breath, searching her face for some clue, any clue that his speech was working.

"I just want to add shagging to the very long list of fucking awesome things I already do with you. I want to make you come. And… rest my head between your beautiful huge tits. I won't leave, I can't. That's not even possible. You're kinda my home, yeah? You and the rest of those shitheads. But especially _you_."

"Fuck, Nathan..." she sighed.

"Fine, I'm leaving... Just..."

"No, not that! I can't move, so come here, you wanker!"

He opened a fucking big smile, jumping over her in the bed. She grabbed him by the collar, clashing her lips on his, making him lose his balance. He returned the kiss with the same enthusiasm, opening his mouth wide. His hands immediately went for her breasts and she moaned at his touch.

But this time... this time he was going to do it _slowly_. He was going to do it _right_.

And then, Kelly stopped the kiss, her hand travelling to his neck.

"This better fucking work, Nathan. I'm warning ya!"

"Hey, I just saved the world, after that, this going to be piece of cake!"

 _**Le fin - The end - O fim** _

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**Hope you guys like it! Thanks so much for reading, fav'ing and commenting guys! Till next time :)**


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